In a world where technology can translate from one language to another and applications allow us to communicate via voice, text, and video within seconds across the globe (and across the cubicle wall), a failure to communicate is the cause of most problems in the workplace.

Welcome to the eighth episode of By Your Life. Thank you for joining me. If you haven’t already, please subscribe on the right side of the page so I can send you notifications when each new episode is posted.

My goal is to inspire, empower, support, challenge, and encourage you to connect Sunday, with Monday-Friday, in a secular, business world. It is my desire to help you live your Catholic faith in the marketplace, nd to trust that it is good for business. I hope to offer you practical ways to go forth and glorify the Lord by your life.

In this edition, we will reflect on the readings for Pentecost Sunday and the application to your work life. There are several alternative readings for this important feast, and I was inspired by all of them.

In the first reading from the Acts of the Apostles, we hear about the miracle of the Holy Spirit that solved the problem of communication between the people.

“And suddenly there came from the sky a noise like a strong driving wind, and it filled the entire house in which they were. Then there appeared to them tongues as of fire, which parted and came to rest on each one of them. And they were all filled with the holy Spirit and began to speak in different tongues, as the Spirit enabled them to proclaim.” Acts 2:2-4

There are two parts to this communication story, the first is that the disciples were able to speak in different tongues. The second is that the people were able to understand.

They gathered in a large crowd, but they were confused because each one heard them speaking in his own language. They were astounded, and in amazement they asked, “Are not all these people who are speaking Galileans? Then how does each of us hear them in his own native language? Acts 2:6-8

The gift they received from the Holy Spirit was a fix to what had happened to the people as told in the book of Genesis, “Come, let us go down and there confuse their language, so that no one will understand the speech of another. That is why it was called Babel, because there the LORD confused the speech of all the world”. Genesis 11 :7, 9

I’m not sure that the fix worked, because today, in spite of technology that can translate from one language to another and applications that allow us to communicate via voice, text, and video within seconds across the globe (and across the cubicle wall), I find that a failure to communicate is the cause of most problems I’m asked to address when working with my clients. I suspect it is a cause of many problems in your workplace too.

In his book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R Covey’s 5th Habit is “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Conceptually, this habit makes so much sense, however in practice…well the problem is that it isn’t practiced. Although we know that effective communication is not just a matter of speaking clearly, we don’t put as much practice into listening as we do talking. We’re so busy judging or responding, or formulating our response in our minds, that we don’ listen to understand.

Sometimes, because of slang, sayings, acronyms, and accents, two English-speakers can misunderstand each other completely. However, most misunderstanding happens because we listen from different frames of reference. Because of our humanity—because of the way we are wired—we filter what is said through our own experiences, perspectives, or biases, and we miss what the other person intended which was based on their experiences, perspectives and biases. What is heard is not always what was intended. What was intended is not always what is heard.

Khalil Gibran, a Lebanese-American writer and poet said, “Between what is said and not meant, and what is meant and not said, most of love is lost.”

The context within which we communicate is a function of our age, ethnicity, gender, economic status (both current and past), religion, values, beliefs, family, education, etc., and no two people are the same. While we may think that working in a world of clones would make things easier, it would instead make things boring.

One of the options for the second reading which you may have heard at Mass is from the First Letter of Saint Paul to the Corinthians, 1 Cor 12:3-7, 12-13 where Paul speaks of the different kinds of spiritual gifts, forms of service, and workings but the same Spirit, Lord, and God. He says, “To each individual the manifestation of the Spirit is given for some benefit.” 1 Cor 12:7

There is the key. They are “given for some benefit.” Our differences are valuable, yet we fail to recognize and appreciate them in others. That is the essential focus of my work with clients—to help them recognize and appreciate the different gifts, talents, and perspectives of others, so that they are willing to do what they need to do to improve communication. As long as different isn’t considered as different with a benefit, but instead different is assumed to be wrong, we will continue to have a failure to communicate.

I’d love to be able to bottle the Holy Spirit and create a “Tongues of Fire” app so that people could understand each other better, but I don’t need to. We all have the ability to call on the Holy Spirit in prayer. Perhaps we just need to ask him throughout the day to help us seek first to understand and value the other person’s perspective. As a result, we may be astounded, and in amazement discover that we also have been understood.

The other optional second reading for Pentecost comes from the Letter of Saint Paul to the Galatians. Gal 5:16-25. St. Paul contrasts living by the Spirit vs. the flesh. He’s specific about the differences and the consequence of choosing to live by the flesh. “Those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.” Gal 5:21

Think about your workplace. To what extent do you see immorality, impurity, lust, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, rivalry, jealousy, outbursts of fury, acts of selfishness, dissentions, factions, occasions of envy, drinking bouts, orgies and the like. Hopefully, you don’t have orgies or practice sorcery at work, but these other “works of the flesh” are ever-present in offices everywhere. The headlines are filled with stories about the demise of individuals and entire organizations because of these works of the flesh.

“In contrast,” Paul writes, “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” Gal 5:22-23

Which culture do you think will attract and retain happy, loyal employees? Which is more likely to attract and retain happy, loyal customers? Which environment has a greater probability of generating sustainable profitability?

English philosopher Francis Bacon wrote “Things alter for the worse spontaneously, if they be not altered for the better designedly.” Your organization’s culture is one of those “things.”

I don’t think that people get up every day and intentionally build a toxic work environment, one based on the flesh, one of immorality, jealousy, rivalry, outbursts of fury, dissention, envy, selfishness and the like. The problem is that they don’t intentionally do the opposite either. People tend to operate based on stimulus/response which is non-thinking, unintentional behavior.

If you want your work environment to be one of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control, then you must practice these qualities intentionally. You can’t just assume people will do it on their own. You have to lead them to this fruit by modeling it yourself.

The bad news is, this is difficult. It is in fact so difficult that we can’t do it on our own. The good news is, we can rely on the Spirit.
As human beings, we are beautifully and wonderfully made, yet part of that perfect design includes a tendency toward trigger/react behavior. Unfortunately, those reactions are often more of the flesh than of the Spirit. Knowing that we must rely on the Spirit, we can use our perfectly designed bodies to counteract negative, reactive responses by practicing “centering.”

Centering is a simple and practical technique that is helpful in stressful situations and during emotional states or anxiety. However, just like you don’t just go run a marathon without training first, centering is most useful if you train yourself in advance.

You can Google “centering” and you’ll find a variety of methods from various resources, but essentially it involves four steps. 1) Physically expanding yourself by stretching your arms, extending legs and lengthening your torso; 2) Focus on slow, deep breaths; 3) Relax, but don’t collapse; and 4) Evoke a quality (e.g. love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, gentleness, self-control).

Centering is a means of developing emotional intelligence and self-regulation. If you practice centering throughout the day and evoke a quality such as peace, patience, or kindness, I encourage you to also invoke the Holy Spirit to help you. Jesus promised us whatever we ask for in his name, will be granted by his Father. Ask and the Holy Spirit will give you his gifts, so when you act, your works will bear his fruit.

Finally, there are important messages in each of the optional Gospel Readings. In John 20:19-23, Jesus said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained.”

Too often, we think that commissioning of the apostles is something that is reserved for priests in the Sacrament of Reconciliation, but I think he was speaking to each of us. “Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained.”

I once worked with a department where a chasm grew between two teams because some small infraction by a person in one group was responded to inappropriately by someone in the other. An apology filled with excuses was given by one and received as being “lame” by the other, and on and on, until pettiness and bickering between the two took over. Instead of forgiving, they decided that the were going to retain the sins of the other. They held onto them so tightly that a year later, the divisiveness spread throughout the department as their teams took sides and it impacted the quality of their work.

We all do this from time to time. Some of us do it and don’t even realize we are doing it. If we did, we’d be quicker to forgive. Instead, we retain the sins of others allowing them to eat away at us.

Forgiving can be hard to do, especially when we’ve been hurt deeply. But we are so much better off when we do. Failing to forgive builds resentment and “resentment is like drinking poison and hoping the other person will die.” ~ Unknown

When you are having a hard time even wanting to forgive someone, ask for the ability to want to, you’ll be granted that grace. Once you want to forgive, ask for the ability to forgive. All you need to do is ask and the Lord, will provide.

In the other option for the Gospel reading, John 15:26-27, 16:12-15, Jesus said, “When the Advocate comes, whom I will send you from the Father, … he will testify to me. And you also testify…” Jesus speaks of our obligation to testify to him and this isn’t just a Pentecost Sunday instruction. Each Sunday, through the Mass, we receive the Lord and are sent. Every Eucharistic celebration forms and transforms us to go forth and be Jesus to the world. Our Sunday obligation doesn’t end with the Mass, it begins when we are directed to “Go in peace glorifying the Lord by your life.”

How will your life testify to Him this week? Will you open the gifts of the Spirit? Will your works bear His fruit? Will you seek first to understand? Will you forgive someone for sins that you’ve been retaining?

Let us invoke the Holy Spirit to help us develop love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, gentleness, and self-control.
Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful and kindle in them the fire of your love. Send forth your Spirit and they shall be created. And You shall renew the face of the earth.

May God bless you abundantly, so you may live in the Spirit and share your gifts for the benefit of others. Amen

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Many thanks to Fr. Stan Fortuna for his musical gifts, especially the traditional and contemporary versions of Come Holy Ghost (Come Holy Spirit) that you hear in this podcast. You can find more from Fr. Stan at http://www.francescoproductions.com/ or on Facebook.