Mass Readings Audio
https://bible.usccb.org/podcasts/audio/2020-09-13-usccb-daily-mass-readings
Twenty-fourth Sunday in Ordinary Time – September 13, 2020
Welcome to the one hundred and twenty-ninth episode of By Your Life. I’m Lisa Huetteman and I know that you have a hundred different things you could be doing right now, so I thank you for choosing By Your Life.
My goal is to inspire, empower, support, challenge, and encourage you to connect Sunday, with Monday-Friday, in a secular business world. It’s my desire to help you live our Catholic faith in the marketplace. I hope to offer you practical ways to go forth and glorify the Lord by your life.
Holding onto Anger
In this edition, we’ll reflect on the readings for the Twenty-fourth Sunday in Ordinary Time. Every Sunday, my husband, mother and I take lunch to my in-laws’ house and we spend a few hours with them talking and sharing a meal. This week, my father-in-law told a story about going to visit his mother. He hadn’t seen her in many months and had driven over 10 hours with two kids in the car and the first words out of her mouth when he walked in the door were, “Albert, can you go to the store and get me some bread?” You could hear the irritation in his voice as he described that event that happened over 50 years ago. I jokingly said to him, “Grandpa, do you think it is time you let that go?” He jokingly responded, “No, I want to hold onto it!”
All kidding aside, the first reading from the Book of Sirach and the Gospel should be a warning to all of us who hold onto resentments. Sirach said, “Wrath and anger are hateful things, yet the sinner hugs them tight.” (Sir 27:30) Then, in the Gospel, Jesus told the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant. If you are human, and you are reading this now, you must admit that there have been times you’ve held onto anger way too long, despite the negative effects it had on you. But, if we are honest, what should concern us even more is that wicked, unforgiving servant who Jesus describes in the parable is us, the ones who have been forgiven, yet refuse to forgive. Why do we do this? Why do we cling to hateful things, refuse to forgive others, and allow ourselves to be consumed by anger?
Righteous Anger is Healthy
First, not all anger is bad or sinful; it is a natural human emotion. There is a proper place for righteous indignation that is a legitimate passion for justice. St. Thomas Aquinas said, “He who is not angry when there is a just cause for anger is immoral. Why? Because anger looks for the good of justice. And if you can live amid injustice without anger, you are immoral as well as unjust.” The difference is that righteous anger seeks restoration, but unrighteous anger seeks destruction.
He who is not angry when there is a just cause for anger is immoral. Why? Because anger looks for the good of justice. And if you can live amid injustice without anger, you are immoral as well as unjust. ~ St. Thomas AquinasUnrighteous Anger is Not Healthy
Sometimes, irrational anger is caused by psychological problems, but since I’m not qualified to address mental illnesses, if that’s your underlying cause, seek professional help. For the rest of us, from time to time we experience anger that turns into an irrational or excessive desire for revenge, which St. Thomas Aquinas defines as the deadly sin of wrath. Our obsession is not to right the wrong but to wrong those who have wronged us. We hold onto it and it begins to consume us, and it is not healthy for us.
Kathi L. Norman, a student in the Master of Applied Positive Psychology program at the University of Pennsylvania wrote in her capstone project that engaging in deep thoughts of anger, vengeance, hate, and resentment has unproductive outcomes “such as increased anxiety, depression, elevated blood pressure, vascular resistance, decreased immune response, and worse outcomes in coronary artery disease.” In other words, it’s not good for us physically nor psychologically.
Our first reading tells us that it is not good for us spiritually either. It says, “The vengeful will suffer the Lord’s vengeance, for he remembers their sins in detail. Could anyone nourish anger against another and expect healing from the LORD?
Could anyone refuse mercy to another like himself, can he seek pardon for his own sins?” (Sir 28:1,3-4) Our anger toward another comes back to us like a boomerang. We cling to resentment and hold onto anger way too long as if it might help us. But, St. Ambrose said, “No one heals himself by wounding another.”
Anger’s Antidote
In his video on The Seven Deadly Sins, Seven Lively Virtues, Bishop Barron offers the antidote to the deadly sin of anger, and that is forgiveness. Kathi Norman wrote, “Practicing forgiveness enables the transgressed individual to reduce their engagement in rumination thus reducing their experience of anger, resentment, and hate. Forgiveness, then, is a pathway to psychological well-being and health outcomes.”
Despite the known benefits, people often misunderstand what forgiveness is and this gets in the way of practicing forgiveness. People sometimes think forgiveness is a sign of weakness and cowardice. Others think that when we forgive, we’re condoning a behavior and giving permission for the transgressor to do it again. But neither of these is true about forgiveness.
Forgiveness does nothing to change what the offender has done; instead, it changes the one who has been harmed. What is wrong is still wrong. But when we forgive, we are putting a stop to feeling angry or resentful toward someone for an offense, flaw, or mistake. And that’s good for us, as Kathi Norman wrote, “the benefits of forgiveness, are most significant for the individual who has been transgressed, rather than the transgressor.”
Forgiveness in the Workplace
Letting go of anger and forgiving another for their offense is not only good for us physically, psychologically, and spiritually, it is also good for business, but you don’t hear about it as often as you should because of common misconceptions of forgiveness in the workplace. Some leaders believe that forgiveness is an abstract philosophical or religious idea that is inappropriate to discuss in the workplace. Other obstacles include fear of creating a permissive environment and loss of control.
But an article published in the Greater Good Magazine of UC Berkeley supports the power of forgiveness to potentially improve well-being and productivity in professional settings. Forgiveness restores hope and productivity in the workplace. Not forgiving divides and creates discord.
Again, forgiveness does not mean we condone or ignore bad behavior. Every workplace should have policies and procedures for dealing quickly with serious transgressions. Forgiving mistakes does not mean excusing them or lowering expectations. Forgiveness should facilitate excellence and improvement rather than inhibiting it.
So, forgiving in the workplace means people know when they make mistakes, but they also know the company will help them conquer these as well as build skills to avoid making the same mistakes again. As a result, forgiveness encourages others to move past their mistakes. By being forgiven, employees are offered the chance to take risks, be creative, grow, and build loyalty.
Forgive Quickly and Always
With all the known benefits of forgiveness, why is it so hard? Kathi Norman wrote that “The readiness to forgive is personal, dependent upon the individual, the perceived severity of the transgression, and more, and even psychologists disagree about when it is appropriate to forgive.” Psychologists may disagree, but Christians are clear that we must forgive quickly and always. St. Paul wrote, “Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun set on your anger.” (Eph 4:26). Don’t let your anger fester and grow. And when Peter asked, “Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive? As many as seven times?” Jesus answered, “I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times.” (Mt 18:21-22) Peter was thinking in limited terms wanting to know when he is justified saying “enough is enough”, but Jesus lets us know that forgiveness is not to be limited, but endless. Forgive quickly and always because as St. Jerome said, “To be angry is human; to put an end to one’s anger is Christian.”
To be angry is human; to put an end to one’s anger is Christian. ~ St. JeromeForgiveness is an act of will that comes from humility and your ability to realize your own weaknesses, imperfections, and sinfulness. Forgiveness comes from gratitude for having been forgiven. Forgiveness is about goodness, about extending mercy to those who’ve harmed us, even if they don’t “deserve” it.
Concrete Steps to Forgiveness
We all want to be forgiven when we know we’ve done wrong, yet we’re less able to forgive others. What concrete steps can you take to strengthen your ability to forgive? First, begin with prayer. The words, “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us” are the place to start. Also, repeating Jesus’ words from the Cross, “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.” (Lk 23:34) is a powerful reminder of how we are to extend mercy and forgiveness.
Second, keep your own sins in mind. If we are honest, we have been forgiven far more than we have been offended. Make a daily examination of conscience and then go to Confession frequently and seek forgiveness by admitting your sinfulness.
Third, forgive offenses quickly. Don’t let what someone else did to you take root in your soul and grow into your sinfulness. Forgiveness is an act of the will. Choose to forgive, and if that is too difficult, choose to pray for the ability to forgive. Either way, do it quickly.
Finally, make a concrete act of forgiveness, with a word, a note, a call, a visit, or a sign. We must forgive because we have been forgiven. In the words of St. Josemaria Escriva, “Force yourself, if necessary, always to forgive those who offend you, from the very first moment. For the greatest injury or offense you can suffer from them is nothing compared to what God has forgiven you.”
Force yourself, if necessary, always to forgive those who offend you, from the very first moment. For the greatest injury or offense, you can suffer from them is nothing compared to what God has forgiven you. ~ St. Josemaria EscrivaEvery relationship, whether it be between spouses, family members, neighbors, co-workers, or friends, is strengthened by forgiveness and weakened by unforgiveness. Our readings gave us a stark reminder that if we want to be forgiven, we are required to forgive. Jesus said we will be “handed over to the torturers” (Mt. 18:34) “unless each of you forgives his brother from his heart.” (Mt 18:35) The Catechism of the Catholic Church tells us that “It is there, in fact, ‘in the depths of the heart,’ that everything is bound and loosed. It is not in our power not to feel or to forget an offense; but the heart that offers itself to the Holy Spirit turns injury into compassion and purifies the memory in transforming the hurt into intercession.” (CCC 2843)
So, this week, look deep into your heart, find where you’re harboring unforgiveness, and offer it to the Holy Spirit, because only then can you take the concrete steps toward forgiveness. Let’s ask the Lord to help us:
Lord Jesus, I offer you my heart. Make it like yours so that I may forgive others as I have been forgiven.
May God bless you abundantly this week with his grace to forgive so that you may glorify the Lord by your life.
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