Who is to blame for the lack of preparation for and response to the coronavirus? A lot of people are asking those questions, and everyone has an opinion. I don’t. I think that asking who is to blame is the wrong question. In this edition of By Your Life we encourage taking responsibility not placing blame.

Mass Readings Audio
http://ccc.usccb.org/cccradio/NABPodcasts/2020/20_03_22.mp3

Fourth Sunday of Lent – March 22, 2020

Welcome to the one hundred and fourth episode of By Your Life. I’m Lisa Huetteman and I know that you have a hundred different things you could be doing right now, so I thank you for choosing By Your Life.

My goal is to inspire, empower, support, challenge, and encourage you to connect Sunday, with Monday-Friday, in a secular, business world. It’s my desire to help you live our Catholic faith in the marketplace. I hope to offer you practical ways to go forth and glorify the Lord by your life.

In this edition, we’ll reflect on the readings for the Fourth Sunday of Lent. (Year A) When Lent began just four weeks ago, most of us never imagined that the marketplace where we spend most of our waking hours could be turned on its head the way it has in the past 21 days. Who is to blame for the lack of preparation and response that got us here? A lot of people are asking that question and everyone has an opinion. I don’t. I think that asking who is to blame is the wrong question.

Who is to blame?

This Sunday’s Gospel begins, “As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, ‘Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?’” (Jn 9:1-2) In other words, who is to blame? The idea that sickness and misfortune were the direct result of sin was a common misconception held by the Jews and today, we suffer from the same misconception.

Accepting blame

Sure, sometimes it is true that there is a direct relationship between someone else’s sin and my suffering. If you punched me in the nose for no reason, you would have sinned, and I would have suffered. It is also true that my suffering can be the direct result of my own sin. If I fail to properly care for my body, if I fail to eat right and exercise, I will suffer from the consequences of poor health.  But this isn’t what I’m talking about. Sometimes stuff just happens, and it is nobody’s fault, but that doesn’t stop people from looking for someone to blame.

I don’t have to tell you that the situation with the spread of the coronavirus into a global pandemic has brought out its share of faultfinders. From world leaders on down to our Facebook friends, there is no shortage of blame being cast for causing it and failing to stop it.

Escaping responsibility

Why do we do this? My theory: We do this to escape responsibility.

Note, I said responsibility, not blame. There is a difference between accepting or taking responsibility for something and accepting or taking blame. I can take responsibility for whether or not I am to blame. Somehow, if I think I can blame someone, it makes things easier for me. Unfortunately, the only thing that does is blind me to my responsibility. When I’m busy blaming others, I’m not compelled to do what I can to address the issue. After all, it’s not my fault, so why should I do anything about fixing it, solving the problem, or making things right again? But, if you’re not part of the solution, then you are part of the problem.

John G. Miller, author of QBQ! The Question Behind the Question, says the solution to blaming others involves an entirely new approach. We can no longer ask, “Who dropped the ball?” “Why can’t they do their work properly?” or “Why do we have to go through all these changes?” Instead, every individual has to ask the question behind the question: “How can I improve this situation?” “What can I contribute?” or “How can I make a difference?”

Blamers are victims

Victim-thinking leads to “you” and “they” questions  like “Why don’t you do something?” while responsibility-thinking leads to “I” questions like “What can I do?” Responsible people are creators; they create solutions to problems. Blamers, on the other hand, are victims, and being a victim is an unhappy place to be. Most people don’t want to be a victim. Most people don’t know that’s what they are doing.

I worked with a leader in one of the large public accounting firms whose career had gotten off track. He was very skilled in the technical aspects of his role, but he was consistently missing his billable hours target, and his job was in jeopardy. I met with him over the course of several months and this client had a turning point in one of our sessions when I said to him, “That sounds an awful lot like victim-speak.” At first, he was taken aback, but then he realized that he was playing the role of victim. He had been blaming others for his current situation, and as a result, he wasn’t doing his part to change it. That was years ago and he’s now just a few months away from retiring with the firm. I had lunch with him recently, and he told me with a smile that my helping him realize his victim-thinking not only changed his life but has helped him as he’s mentored countless others in his firm in the same way.

Creators are responsible

I shared another example of how responsibility-thinking saved someone’s life in an article I wrote for Two Ten Magazine about Ed Kobel, President, and COO of DeBartolo Development, a real estate investment firm. Early in his career, through the early 1980s, Ed Kobel had developed $300 million worth of shopping centers and other large commercial projects. Then, the Tax Reform Act of 1986 dramatically changed the real estate industry and he found himself upside down on $115 million worth of loans. His accountants and lawyers advised him to file for bankruptcy and walk away from all the debt. But that didn’t sound right to him. He had no peace when considering bankruptcy, so he decided to trust God’s lead instead and not pursue that option. Then everything got much worse.

He backed away from the anxiety and pressure of the problem and went to the Lord to ask for help. On an earthly sense, this was a BIG problem, but Ed was exhilarated knowing he could call upon the God of the Universe. The hard part was listening to him and following his lead. It took Ed five years and every ounce of his spirit to work through all the challenges but at the end of that journey, he paid back every penny!

When he told me this story, Ed Kobel made it clear that he wasn’t passing judgment on those who file for bankruptcy, and neither am I. My reason for telling this story is because of his faith and because he rejected the role of a victim even though he wasn’t to blame for the changes in the tax law that turned his business upside down. He could have taken the easy way out and said, “It’s not my fault, so I’m going to let my loan-holders take the loss.” However, he didn’t. He choose to put his trust in the Lord who guided and strengthened him, and God had an incredible hand working in and through him.

I’m also sharing his story because of what happened after he paid back all his debts. His business took off again and within a year, he headed to Wall Street to secure public funding.  After a week of making cold calls and sharing his business plan with the major banks, Ed came home with two term sheets totaling $500 million and his business was reborn in a big way. Years later, Ed asked his bankers why they lent him money knowing what a failure his prior business had been. They told Ed that because he had worked hard to repay his debts instead of filing for bankruptcy, they knew he could be trusted with the investment.

At times, our sins, physical ailments, and all other kinds of suffering are permitted by God as a means of purification, and as an opportunity for close union with Christ and his Cross. They become an opportunity to reveal the glory of God. This was true for the man born blind in Sunday’s Gospel, it was true for Ed Kobel, and it is true for you and me, we just need to listen to God and cooperate with him for his glory.

As we are in the midst of this thing called the coronavirus pandemic, we are all suffering in one way or another. Some of you are suffering because you are working overtime traveling in uncharted territory. Some you are suffering because you can’t work and are worried about how you are going to make ends meet. Some of you are suffering because your routine has been abolished, your social support systems have been eliminated, or you’re trying to work from home and at the same time monitor your children as they study online. (Good luck with that!) Some of you, like my daughter, whose last semester of her senior year in college has been taken from her, you too are suffering because important events that you’ve looked forward to for months or years, like graduation, have been canceled. Some of you are suffering from the virus itself, are caring for someone who is, or mourning someone who has died. What pains me the most is that public Masses have been suspended and we no longer may receive Jesus sacramentally.

So that the works of God might be made visible

In the midst of all this suffering, we can take solace in that “it is so that the works of God might be made visible.” (Jn 9:3) But you know what? The works of God are made visible through us. Jesus told his disciples, “We have to do the works of the one who sent me while it is day. Night is coming when no one can work.” (Jn 9:4)  Note, he didn’t say “I” have to do the work of the one who sent me. He said “we” have to do the works. We – you and I – have a responsibility to do the works. He also said, “while it is day,” and not “when we have time to get around to it.”

Sometimes, I just hate it when God speaks to me this way. As I was working on this episode of By Your Life, a Facebook push notification popped up on my screen. I accepted the distraction and clicked it. One thing led to the next and I started scrolling through my Facebook feed. There was a post from a friend who I usually just scroll past because she generally shares negativity and I’m not interested. But today was the third day that she posted her woes about not being able to find any Kleenex or toilet paper at the store. Her friends commiserated by blaming everyone from the store to the President of the United States for the shortage of paper products. Since the message in this episode is about blaming, this post caught my eye.

But then, a voice said to me, “Take her a box of Kleenex and some toilet paper.” Now this friend lives 20 miles away so the idea of getting in the car and driving to her house with these supplies was ridiculous and I told the voice that. But the voice persisted. “You have to do the works of the one who sent me.” Alright, alright! I got in my car and drove 20 miles, dropped the paper products on her front porch and left. She doesn’t listen to my podcast, so she’ll never know who did it. Even if she would suspect it was me, she would be wrong. It was God, I just happened to be his arms and legs.

It is not normal for me to drop everything I’m doing to do an unsolicited favor for a friend, but things are no longer normal. In these abnormal times, you and I have a choice. We can invest our energy in finding someone to blame, or we can take responsibility for doing the works of God. One is choosing to be a victim, the other is taking responsibility to cooperate with the Creator. One is sharing darkness, the other is being the light. Which do you choose?

In our second reading from St. Paul to the Ephesians, he encourages us to “Live as children of light, for light produces every kind of goodness and righteousness and truth. Take no part in the fruitless works of darkness; rather expose them.” (Eph 5:8-9, 11) Don’t blame them, take responsibility for being the light you expose them to, so that God may be made visible. That’s all we are asked to do. The interesting thing about taking responsibility, is that even though one person is to blame for causing a problem, everyone can be responsible for fixing it. Today, in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic, everyone must take responsibility for stopping it.

Prayer for courage and strength

So, let’s ask for courage and strength to be light this week by praying the 23^rd Psalm that we heard on Sunday:

He guides me in right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk in the dark valley I fear no evil; for you are at my side with your rod and your staff that give me courage. (Ps 23:3-4)

May God bless you abundantly this week, and may you glorify the Lord by your life.

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