Marketers understand the principle of spaced repetition. Keep repeating your message, over and over, so that people will remember it when the time comes to make a purchase decision. In this edition of By Your Life, we look at how the principle of spaced repetition applies to living the Great Commandment.
Mass Readings Audio
http://ccc.usccb.org/cccradio/NABPodcasts/2019/19_07_14.mp3
Fifteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time – July 14, 2019
Welcome to the sixty-eighth episode of By Your Life. I’m Lisa Huetteman and I know that you have a hundred different things you could be doing right now, so I thank you for choosing By Your Life. If you haven’t already, please sign up for notifications on your favorite podcast app or on the right side of this page so I can let you know when each new episode is posted.
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My goal is to inspire, empower, support, challenge, and encourage you to connect Sunday, with Monday-Friday, in a secular, business world. It’s my desire to help you live our Catholic faith in the marketplace. I hope to offer you practical ways to go forth and glorify the Lord by your life.
In this edition, we’ll reflect on the readings for the Fifteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time. I had a doctor’s appointment this week. As I waited in the examination room, I watched the computer screen on the wall flash the words: Trust, Respect, Dignity, Responsibility, and Excellence. This was obviously meant to be a reminder to all who work there of the health system’s core values. It was also a notice to me, the patient, of what I should expect from them.
In our first reading from the Book of Deuteronomy, Moses reminds the people of the law he set before them. He knows he’s not going to be around forever telling the people what to do. He needs to teach them to follow the law and share it when he’s gone. Throughout the Book of Deuteronomy, Moses repeats the instruction for the people to keep the command he has given them, and he gives them a choice. The choice presented is to love the Lord and keep his commandments, or to serve “other gods.” That choice will determine what kind of life they will make for themselves in the land. Whichever choice they make carries consequences, either a “blessing” or a “curse.” The book is a kind of survival manual for Israel in their life as a people: how to live and what to avoid.
In order that they and all future generations may be blessed, he repeatedly instructs the people to recite the words, repeat them to their children, write them down and keep them visible. So, when we hear Moses in our first reading say, “This command that I enjoin on you today is not too mysterious and remote for you.” (Dt 30:11) “It is something very near to you, already in your mouths and in your hearts; you have only to carry it out.” (Dt 30:14), he is reminding them that this is nothing new. It is already in your mouths, that is memorized and recited, and in your hearts, adopted and internalized.
When you read the entire book, you feel like Moses keeps repeating himself, and he does. Over and over, at least eight times, he tells them, “You shall love the LORD, your God, with your whole heart, and with your whole being, and with your whole strength.” (Dt 4:29; 6:5; 10:12; 11:13; 13:4; 26:16; 30:2, 30:10😉 This is why he says the command is not something foreign. They know what they need to do. They only have to do it.
This is what great leaders do when they determine the kind of culture they want to create. They tell people how to live and what to avoid. And they tell them over and over. This is why my health care provider had their core values scrolling on the screen in the examination room. It was a visible reminder of the code of conduct that has been handed on to them. Marketers understand this principle. Keep repeating the message, over and over, so that people will remember it.
When I interviewed CEOs in the process of writing my book, The Value of Core Values, I discovered that this was one of the things that successful values-centered companies did. They constantly and consistently shared their core values. They repeated them in every meeting. They made signs so their values were visible. They explained to them so people understood what they meant. And, they referred to them when they had decisions to make. Did the path they were considering honor the values or not? Would their choice bring a blessing or a curse? In short, the message of core values was the drumbeat by which all leaders lead. Their teams knew their instructions, they only needed to carry it out.
Successful values-centered companies constantly and consistently share their core values.Sounds so simple. It is simple, but not easy.
Repeating the words and making them visible is the easy part. Carrying it out is where most fail. Why is this? Why is it that when we are faced with a choice between right and wrong, blessing and curse, honoring a value or not, we choose the wrong option? Why do good people do the wrong thing?
One answer is that we don’t really have a good foundation in knowing right from wrong. We’ve never been taught. All of us have had to learn these kinds of lessons the hard way. I have a client who can’t believe the lack of common courtesy from her job candidates. They don’t send a cover letter with their résumés, they show up for the job interview dressed in something that is more appropriate for the beach, and they don’t follow up with a thank you after the interview. Nobody ever taught them these common courtesies. I’ve got another client who is exasperated with the lack of common sense displayed by one of his employees. He says, “If I ever meet his Daddy, I’m going to whip his butt because I’m having to do his job with this kid!” My client is right in recognizing that nobody ever taught this kid what most of us believe to be common sense.
So, if common sense and common courtesy aren’t so common, we can’t assume that our core values will be commonly understood. We have to plan for creating a common understanding of our hiring and development processes. Don’t assume that everyone knows what the “right” thing to do is. You must tell them, tell them again, explain in detail with examples of what is and what isn’t acceptable.
I was working with the staff of a small law firm. The firm had recently identified their core values and I was working with this team of about 20 paralegal and administrative support staff to gain an understanding and buy-in to the values. One of the firm’s values was honesty—a good value for a law firm. One of the staff said she thought “little white lies” were okay and did not violate the core value. She felt that there were certain circumstances when the end justified the means, so if you had to tell a “little white lie” to get the right result, it was okay. Others disagreed and a lively discussion followed. In the end, they decided that “little white lies” were still lies and any lie was inconsistent with honesty.
Which brings me to a second reason why good people do bad things…they justify them. We heard this in Sunday’s Gospel when the scholar of the law, “because he wished to justify himself, said to Jesus, ; And who is my neighbor?’.” (Lk 10:29)
Why do good people do bad things? They justify them.To teach him, Jesus told the Parable of the Good Samaritan, (Lk 10:30-37) and gave three examples – two that violated the command and one that honored it.
In our businesses, we need to do the same thing. Different people have different definitions of words based on their background, experiences, and values. The woman at the law firm grew up in an environment where “little white lies” were acceptable. The scholar of the law grew up in an environment where a “neighbor” had a limited definition to include only those you liked or those who were like you. If we want people to honor our shared core values, the values must be defined and understood in terms of behaviors. Otherwise, it makes it easy for people to justify the wrong behavior.
This process of clarifying the meaning of your values is never-ending. You will constantly be faced with decisions you’ve never faced before. Looking at the choices through the lens of your core values makes the decision easier. For my healthcare provider, it is a matter of asking, “Does what I’m about to do earn more trust?” “Does this show respect for myself and the other person?” “Does this action acknowledge the dignity of the other person?” “If I do this, will I be demonstrating more or less responsibility?” “Does this choice lead to more or less excellence?”
When Jesus put examples of “love your neighbor” before the scholar of the law, it was an easy choice. Jesus said, “Which of these three, in your opinion, was neighbor to the robbers’ victim?” He answered, “The one who treated him with mercy.” (Lk 10:36-37) But here comes the hard part: “Jesus said to him, ‘Go and do likewise.’” (Lk 10:37)
I work with many clients who are human, and as a result, they struggle with doing the right thing when another person has, in their opinion, wronged them. They are happy to honor their core values, for example, of “teamwork” or “respect”, if other people are also honoring the “teamwork” and “respect” values. But, when it comes to those who violate the values, my clients feel “justified” in not respecting them or helping them out. It’s like when your child yells in their defense, “Well, he hit me first!”
My clients hate me when I challenge them when this is their reasoning. I hear things like, “If they disrespect me, they don’t deserve my respect.” Or “Why do I have to be the one who does the right thing? Isn’t that letting them get away with the wrong behavior?”
I get it. It is a lot easier to honor a value of teamwork with good team players, but that doesn’t mean you get to pick and choose when you are going to be a good team player. It is a lot easier to show respect for someone who demonstrates respect, but that doesn’t mean you get a pass on being disrespectful to them when they aren’t respectful to you. It is a lot easier to love your neighbor when your neighbor isn’t a “Samaritan”. They are who they are and that is who you get to work with. Their behavior reflects on them. But, if you don’t help them become better teammates and more respectful, who will? If you don’t love the unlovable, who will?
The thing is, there is something in it for you. As Moses explained throughout the Book of Deuteronomy, there are consequences for our choices, and they take the form of blessings or curses. If you choose wisely, you will be blessed. Choose wrongly, you will be cursed. When you don’t help the poor team player on your team, they will continue to bring your team down. When you help them, teamwork improves. If you are disrespectful to someone who disrespects you, the downward spiral continues. When you respectfully call them on their behavior, you can stop the downward spiral. This may take more than just one try. But if you continue to show respect, they will eventually get the message. Or, it will be time for them to leave. At least you’ll know you did your part with respect.
On a more important level, the Gospel began with the question: “Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” (Lk 10:25) Our choices have eternal consequences. Choose wisely.
So today, will you “love the LORD, your God, with your whole heart, and with your whole being, and with your whole strength.” (Dt 6:5) Will you “take to heart these words which I command you today. Keep repeating them to your children. Recite them when you are at home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you get up. Bind them on your arm as a sign and let them be as a pendant on your forehead. Write them on the doorposts of your houses and on your gates.” (Dt 6:6-9)
Let’s ask the Holy Spirit to help us to carry it out.
Come Holy Spirit, you know the desires of our hearts. We want to do the right thing, but we often fail. Help us to recognize our tendency to justify our poor choices and strengthen our resolve to do right. We ask these things in the name of Jesus, so that we may glorify the Lord by our lives.
May God bless you abundantly this week as you make the tough choices at home, at work, and wherever you may be and may you glorify him, by your life.
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