Too often, coaching in the workplace is considered something negative, a punishment, or a penalty for having done something wrong. Coaching is saved for troubled employees instead of a common practice that benefits everyone. In this edition of By Your Life, we’ll talk about effective coaching and Jesus’ example for us to follow.
Mass Readings Audio
http://ccc.usccb.org/cccradio/NABPodcasts/2019/19_04_07-year-c.mp3
Fifth Sunday of Lent – April 7, 2019
Welcome to the fifty-fourth episode of By Your Life. Thank you for joining me. If you haven’t already, please subscribe via iTunes, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, or on the right side of this page so I can send you notifications when each new episode is posted. And please forward to a friend, if you think they would benefit from By Your Life.
My goal is to inspire, empower, support, challenge, and encourage you to connect Sunday, with Monday-Friday, in a secular, business world. It’s my desire to help you live our Catholic faith in the marketplace. I hope to offer you practical ways to go forth and glorify the Lord by your life.
In this edition, we’ll reflect on the readings for the Fifth Sunday of Lent for Year C. In last week’s episode, I mentioned a book by Joe Ehrmann called InSideOut Coaching: How Sports Can Transform Lives. I had downloaded the audiobook but hadn’t listened to it yet. Well, this week I listened to it and as expected, this book about coaching sports teams has many valuable insights that are applicable to the workplace.
This week, I also attended a workshop by Matthew Kelly called, Don’t Just Manage, Coach! It was based on his new best-selling book, The Culture Solution: A Practical Guide to Building a Dynamic Culture so People Love Coming to Work and Accomplishing Great Things Together. While he asserts there are six immutable principles of a dynamic culture, Matthew Kelly focused on two of them in the workshop: #2 Mission is King, and #6 Grow Your People by Creating a Coaching Culture.
So, as I reflected on this week’s Gospel, it was so obvious to me that the lessons in these two books were the same lessons Jesus taught when “the scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery.” (Jn 8:3) But before I go there, let me step back a bit.
Many of my coaching sessions include a conversation with clients about challenges they are having with employees who aren’t performing up to expectations. The problem is either that the employees aren’t achieving their productivity goals, or, they are productive, but they are so toxic that they are sucking energy out of the organization, or some combination of the two. The frustration level for my clients is high and they don’t know what to do next.
Before we can figure out next steps, I usually will ask, “Do you want to save this person? What do you want the outcome to be? Do you want this person to stay, perform and behave? Or, do you want them gone?” These are important questions because attitudes will impact behaviors which will impact results. Often, my client really just wants the employee to leave. If the employee resigned tomorrow, there would be a celebration. They really don’t want to have to deal with trying to get the employee to improve performance, so they do a poor job of it and waste a lot of time and energy supposedly coaching right behavior.
So, be clear about the result you want. To get rid of a problem employee, you document a 30-day plan with clear expectations, you inspect the results, and you document the achievement gap.
On the other hand, if you want them to stay, perform and behave better, then you have to invest in helping them to transform to achieve the results. You still set clear expectations, but you ask if they need help and you encourage them to ask for help if they get stuck. You still inspect the results, but when there is a gap, you don’t get frustrated. You expect it, you try to help them figure out what went wrong, teach them how to do it differently, and you encourage them to try again. You have to believe in their ability to succeed, otherwise, you’re wasting your time.
This is a lot of work and this is why most supervisors of difficult employees don’t do it. Because doing all this work, keeps you from doing all the other work you have to do. This problem employee is a distraction and is getting in the way of everything else that, for some reason, is more important to you. It is all about you.
Well, it is not all about you if you really want to be a great leader of people. Matthew Kelly says, “Great leaders take an interest in people. In particular, they’re really committed to growing people.”
Great leaders take an interest in people. In particular, they’re really committed to growing people. ~ Matthew Kelly @MatthewFKellyAlthough to be a great leader, you must take great interest in growing your people, the paradox is that in order to do so, you must first grow yourself. So, it is all about you. And this is the “inside” part of the InsideOut process Joe Ehrmann preaches. “If you want to become a better coach, you have to become a better you.”
If you want to become a better coach, you have to become a better you. ~ Joe Ehrmann @JoeEhrmann76To help coaches develop, Joe Ehrmann’s InsideOut process begins with four important questions:
- Why do I coach? For Joe Ehrmann, the answer is “To help boys become men of empathy and integrity who will lead, be responsible, and change the world for good.” Notice, the answer is not to win games or championships.
- Why do I coach the way I do? This requires the difficult process of introspection to understand the set of life experiences that drive you and your approach to coaching.
- How does it feel to be coached by me? This question requires a keenly developed sense of empathy to reach a truthful answer. And,
- How do I define success? This is usually related to the answer to the first question, “Why do I coach?”
As a leader who wants to become a great leader, these InsideOut questions are also a good place to start:
- Why do I lead? Really, why do you want to be a leader in your organization?
- Why do I lead the way I do? Who and what in your life have influenced you, your view of leadership, and your relationships with those you lead?
- How does it feel to be led by me? Would you want to work for you? Why or why not?
- How do I define success? At the end of this year, how will you know whether you’ve been successful as a leader? Perhaps more importantly, when it is all said and done, at the end of your life, how will you look back and evaluate whether or not your life has been a success? Are these in any way related?
At work, how do you define success? I mentioned earlier that one of the six immutable principles of a dynamic culture Matthew Kelly professes is that “Mission is King.” That is, every decision you make is within the context of the mission of the organization. You should continuously ask, “If we do this, will it take us closer to or further away from accomplishing the mission?” You are not king. The mission is king. So, how do you define success? You define success in terms of accomplishing the mission.
For Jesus, the mission was king. Everyone wanted to make him the king, but he rejected that. When Pilate said to him, “‘Then you are a king?’ Jesus answered, ‘You say I am a king. For this I was born and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth.’” (Jn 18:37) The mission was king, and it directed everything he said and did in his life. His mission was “not to do my own will but the will of him who sent me,” John 6:38 and “to seek and to save what was lost.” (Lk 19:10)
So, let’s go back to the story about the woman caught in adultery. What did Jesus do and how can we apply his example to ourselves and a coaching leader? As is often the case at work, someone will come to you to report that someone else has not done their job. Sometimes it is a blatant complaint and other times it is a little more indirect, like CCing you on an email. By complaining, they want you to take action against the other person. This was what the Pharisees had done to Jesus.
Jesus didn’t immediately react to the situation, instead, “Jesus bent down and began to write on the ground with his finger.” (Jn 8:6) That’s our first lesson. When an employee comes to us to complain about someone else, or when we observe wrong behavior ourselves, our initial reaction is to, well, react. But, Jesus didn’t. He paused and wrote on the ground with his finger.
You, like me, may be wondering, “What was he writing?” Well, theologians have been pondering this and have come up with a variety of theories. We’ll never know. What we do know is that he didn’t immediately react to the Pharisees trying to test him. He paused, thought about what he was going to say and considered how what he said would impact his mission. Lesson #1: If you want to be a great coaching leader, respond, don’t react.
If you want to be a great leader, respond, don’t react.The second lesson is in Jesus’ response. “Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” (Jn 8:7) He knew the Pharisees had their own share of faults that they needed to work on. He artfully held them accountable by helping them recognize this.
This week, I conducted a workshop on effective communication with a small team. In order to better understand the situation within this workgroup, we conducted a short survey to get their perspective on the effectiveness of communication within their department. Most of the comments pointed out what someone else needed to do to make things better. When I shared the results of the survey—that over 50% of them felt that communication was lousy or poor—I told them that was the bad news. The good news was that the solution was in the room with us. Because the truth is, each of them was in some way part of the problem and therefore, each of them was a part of the solution.
Jesus taught us in Luke’s Gospel, “Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own? We have much more control over improving ourselves, so we should start there. (Lk 6:41)
Lesson #2: Before you condemn someone else for their failures, look in the mirror to see how you are contributing to the problem.
To their credit, the Pharisees acknowledged they were also sinners, and so Jesus effectively coached them. After “they went away one by one,” Jesus “was left alone with the woman before him.” (Jn 8:9), In spite of what she had done wrong, he respected her dignity. He didn’t address the issue in public, instead he waited to talk to her one-to-one, and not so he could chew her out. No, he said, “Neither do I condemn you.” (Jn 8:11) Why? Because his mission is to save souls! Everything he did and said was to further the mission.
Instead of condemning the woman, Jesus coached her. Notice, he didn’t shame her. You can’t coach someone by shaming them. He didn’t pound her with the law. She already knew what she did was wrong. He also didn’t lower the bar and excuse her from meeting the expectations. He held her accountable and encouraged her to do the right thing from now on. He set clear expectations of the woman that supported his purpose. “Go, and from now on do not sin any more.” (Jn 8:11)
Lesson #3: Set clear expectations and encourage the person to meet them in the future.
As we head to work this week, let’s ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to us when we are quick to throw a stone instead of recognizing how the other person’s failure is also our own. Let’s ask St. Joseph, the Worker, to intercede for us, so that everything we say and do, furthers the mission of doing the will of the Father and saving those who are lost.
Blessed St. Joseph, patron of all working people, we thank God for the opportunity to build up His kingdom through our labors. May we do all things in a spirit of thankfulness and joy, ever mindful of the gifts we have received. May we work in peace, patience, and moderation, keeping in mind the account we must one day give of time lost, talents wasted, good omitted, and the vanity of our success that is so fatal to the work of God. May our labors be all for Jesus, all through Mary, and all after your holy example. Amen.
May God bless you abundantly this week and may you glorify the Lord by your life. Amen.
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