Fast is not always efficient and being quick to respond is not always the best option. We rarely take into account the time it takes to correct mistakes, miscommunication, or misinformation when we react to what is presented to us.
Mass Readings Audio
http://ccc.usccb.org/cccradio/NABPodcasts/18_08_12.mp3
Nineteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time – August 12, 2018
Welcome to the twentieth episode of By Your Life. Thank you for joining me. If you haven’t already, please subscribe on the right side of the page so I can send you notifications when each new episode is posted. And please forward to a friend you think would benefit from By Your Life.
My goal is to inspire, empower, support, challenge, and encourage you to connect Sunday, with Monday-Friday, in a secular, business world. It is my desire to help you live our Catholic faith in the marketplace, and to trust that it is good for business. I hope to offer you practical ways to go forth and glorify the Lord by your life.
In this edition, we will reflect on the readings for the Nineteenth Sunday of Ordinary Time. This week, we are presented with a continuation of the Bread of Life discourse in John Chapter 6.
A couple of weeks ago, I was listening to an opinion piece by Scott Simon on NPR. I guess there was a video that went viral condemning a baseball fan for swiping a baseball from a little boy that had been tossed to him by the first base coach. The video of the incident hit social media with the caption “When going to a baseball game, DON’T be this guy.”
The demonization of this man spread so quickly that the baseball club delivered an autographed baseball to the little boy in his seat before the end of the game and tweeted a picture of him holding two baseballs. The club was quick to publicize their benevolence at the expense of this guy.
The back story, that wasn’t captured in the video, is that this guy had already caught three foul balls and shared them with the kids around him, including this little boy—which explains why he was holding two baseballs. The fourth ball that the guy supposedly “swiped” from the kid, he gave to his wife because it was their anniversary.
The thing is, when you watch the video, it looks like the guy was a real jerk; but things aren’t always what they appear.
Jesus wasn’t what he appeared to be either. To the Jews, Jesus was just another Jew. After all, “Is this not Jesus, the son of Joseph? Do we not know his father and mother? Then how can he say, ‘I have come down from heaven’? From the evidence they had, he was talking nonsense. In hindsight, we know better.
How often are we quick to judge when we only have part of the story? To be honest, we do it all the time. We are human. We filter limited information through our biases and come to a conclusion that usually supports our biases. It doesn’t matter whether it is the truth.
Being quick to respond is not always the best option. We rarely take into account the time it takes to correct mistakes, miscommunication, or misinformation when we react to what is presented to us.
And sometimes, we can’t undo the damage we cause. That original tweet about the “jerk” in the stands at the baseball game had 1,200 comments, 5,300 retweets, and 13,000 hearts. The fan who posted the video did tweet an update the next day that said “turns out this guy gave this kid (and other kids) foul balls” but the update only received 47 comments, 87 retweets, and 602 hearts. These stats are what Jonathan Swift was talking about when he said, “Falsehood flies, and the truth comes limping after it.”
“Falsehood flies, and the truth comes limping after it.” ~ Jonathan SwiftIn the Gospel, “the Jews murmured.” In Jonathan Swift’s 17th century, falsehoods could fly. Today, lies can travel at the speed of light as we post, tweet, share and like.
Social media allows for fake news, negative memes and condemnations aimed at tearing down to be spread with a click. We see plenty of bitterness, fury, anger, shouting and reviling online. St. Paul, in the letter to the Ephesians, warns us that this must be removed from us.
Many times, I’ve typed in a scathing response to someone’s post, and then immediately deleted it. I felt better for having typed it. And, I felt better for not having sent it. This is not the media for effective and meaningful communications. How did Benjamin Franklin know about social media when he said, “Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”?
“Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.” ~ Benjamin FranklinI find the biggest problems many of my clients have been caused or at least exacerbated by using the wrong media to communicate. Meetings are used to go over things that could be put in writing. Emails are used when they should pick up the phone, or even more effectively, walk down the hall and chat face to face.
It is difficult to communicate effectively when there is a chasm between sender and receiver. So often, what is intended is not what is received and what is received is not what was intended, yet we assume the opposite. Remember, things aren’t always as they appear and there is more than one side to every story. By getting face to face, you can respond appropriately when you see the other person may have misunderstood or reacted to your style unfavorably. You can put into practice what St. Paul encourages and “be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another as God has forgiven you in Christ.”
Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another as God has forgiven you in Christ. ~ Eph 4:32So, let’s stop murmuring among ourselves and take steps to improve communication with each other. This is easier said than done, I know. We all have those “difficult” people we have to deal with. They try our patience. They are negative, critical, annoying, and worse. The last thing you want to do is approach them to talk face to face. We feel like Elijah in the first reading, in that we’ve done everything in our power and nothing works, so we’ve decided to give up trying.
But St. Paul says, “Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God.” The Lord himself is our answer. He provides us with everything we need for this journey, including how to deal with difficult people. The first step is to take it to prayer. As Jesus said, “It is written in the prophets: They shall all be taught by God.” Allow God to teach you.
Renew yourself in the sacraments. Elijah was able to walk for 40 days after being strengthened by the food provided by the angel. How much more are we strengthened by “The living bread that came down from heaven?” You can’t change that negative, critical, annoying person. But you can change yourself and how you deal with them. Allow the Eucharist to transform you.
Pray for the difficult person. Ask God to help you when that in itself is difficult. It is rare that a difficult person sets out to be difficult. They simply are doing the best they can from their perspective. You never know what brought them to this place in time. “Believe me,” Longfellow wrote, “Every heart has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and oftentimes we call a man cold when he is only sad.”
“Every heart has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and oftentimes we call a man cold when he is only sad.” ~ Henry Wadsworth LongfellowFast is not always efficient. We rarely take into account the time it takes to correct mistakes, miscommunication, or misinformation when we react to what is presented to us. Treating them with kindness, compassion,and forgiveness in spite of how they treat you, is what we are called to do. Remember that Jesus was unjustly treated, and he forgave—from the cross. Forgiving doesn’t mean they are right, it just means that we no longer allow their wrong to negatively affect us.
Finally, in humility, ask the Lord to help you see how you may be contributing to the problem. When are you so sure you are right that you stop considering other possibilities? Like the guy who posted that video about the baseball fan, is your version of the truth only half true? Seek to understand the bigger picture, especially the other person’s point of view.
Let us ask the Holy Spirit to give us the grace to be “imitators of God,” and “live in love, as Christ loved us.”
May God bless you abundantly and may you glorify the Lord by your life. Amen
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Many thanks to Fr. Stan Fortuna for his musical gifts, especially the traditional and contemporary versions of Come Holy Ghost (Come Holy Spirit) that you hear in this podcast. You can find more from Fr. Stan http://www.francescoproductions.com/ or on Facebook.
