We become what we focus on. Our thoughts become our actions, and our actions lead to our results. By recognizing and measuring your wins, big and small, you can celebrate progress, and this positive energy fuels you to keep going. And that is what it is about, making progress on the journey to achieving your goals.
Welcome to the sixth episode of By Your Life. Thank you for joining me. If you haven’t already, / please subscribe at the bottom of the page so I can send you notifications when each new episode is posted.
My goal is to inspire, empower, support, challenge, and encourage you to connect Sunday, with Monday-Friday, in a secular, business world. It is my desire to help you live your Catholic faith in the marketplace and to trust that it is good for business. I hope to offer you practical ways to go forth and glorify the Lord by your life.
In this edition, we will reflect on the readings for the Sixth Sunday of Easter and the application to your work life.
When I read the first reading from the Acts of the Apostles, I thought of my Uncle Chic. He is one of the people who had a great impact on my life. My dad died when I was seven and Uncle Chic became a foster father figure to me. He was a big man at 6’4”, a gentleman, and a gentle man. I never saw him lose his cool. He was a banker early in his career and then left what some called a more “respectable” job to become the general manager of a harness racetrack.
Aunt Marian used to take me down to the track when the horses ran in the spring. We’d get dinner and put $2 down on a horse and cheer for it as it came down the stretch. Sometimes we’d win. Sometimes we’d lose. We always had fun.
Uncle Chic was working on those nights and I got to watch him interacting with the people. Whether it was the guy at the $2 window or the $50 window, the waitress, the secretary, or a horseman back in the barn, Uncle Chic treated everyone with the same respect he gave the owner of the track or the commissioner of racing. He didn’t show partiality. He recognized their dignity and regarded everyone as worthy of respect.
In the first reading from the Acts of the Apostles, Peter teaches about this type of respect and said, “In truth, I see that God shows no partiality.” Acts 10:34
Uncle Chic was a man with a strong faith which he put into practice. He earned great respect from others because he gave respect first. This is similar to what St. John tells us in the second reading when he wrote, “not that we have loved God, but that he loved us.” 1 John 4:10
God doesn’t love us because we love him first. God loves us because we are worthy of his love. This is what Uncle Chic modeled for me in his life too. He didn’t respect people because they respected him first. He respected people because they were worthy of respect, and as a result, they respected him. If you want people to respect you, respect them first.
If you want people to respect you, respect them first.Last week, I told you that I always joke that if it is important, God tells me twice, just in case I miss it the first time. Well, just in case you missed it in last week’s Gospel and/or podcast, we have a chance to reflect on the important messages again. However, last week the emphasis was on remaining. This week, the emphasis is on love.
The second reading from 1 John 4:7-10 is only 84 words and nine of them are the word “love”, eight of the words are the name “God” and as we heard last week, God is love. So, one of every 5 words in this reading refers to love. I think it is important.
But in case you daydreamed through the second reading, in the Gospel reading John 15:9-17, the word “love” is repeated nine more times. We are told that love is shared from the Father to the Son, from the Son to us, from us to one another and so we remain in his love. It is circular, and it is relational—God, Son, us, others.
The message is simple. Remain in my love. Keep my commandment. Love one another. I talked about the implications of our work lives in last week’s episode, but since the same message was repeated this week, I think it is worth reflecting on again. Think back over the past week and consider whether you remained in his love. Can you cite examples of giving of self for others? Were there any missed opportunities? If you do it again, what would you do differently?
We should always do this in our work lives. We should take time to reflect so that we can identify what worked and what needs to change. When I’m coaching, whether it is an individual or a group, I typically begin the session by asking “What are your “wins” since the last time we met?” Sometimes my clients share big accomplishments, other times, it is something small.
A while ago, I was facilitating a follow-up leadership retreat. I asked the group what their “wins” were since the last time we met 4 months earlier. After each of the leaders shared a small victory, the last team member to respond said, “I have no wins.”
“Come on,” I said. “You mean that in four months you cannot identify one small win?”
“No,” he said with his head hung low. He was quick to point out all the things that they had failed at and all the areas where, in his opinion, they had made no progress. This gentleman was not accustomed to looking for the positive and as a result, he couldn’t find it. You could feel the energy drop in the room, like air going out of a balloon. His negativity was a downer for everyone.
We’ve all worked with and for people like this. We have all been like this ourselves from time to time. We become what we focus on. Our thoughts become our actions, and our actions lead to our results. If all you focus on is negative, you’ll get a lot of negativity in return.
We become what we focus on. Our thoughts become our actions and our actions lead to our results.Fr. Michael Gaitley, in his book 33 Days to Morning Glory – Day 19, says “Oftentimes, we don’t recognize the many gifts that God pours out to us in our daily lives. What we do recognize are the daily annoyances, burdens, difficulties, and inconveniences. These win our attention. These get us complaining. These get us in a bad mood and zap our energies.”
Fr. Gaitley goes on to share how St. Mother Teresa was able to radiate joy in spite of having her share of annoyances, burdens, difficulties, and inconveniences. “First, she followed the example of Mary, who was always ‘pondering in her heart’ the ‘good things’ God was doing in her life.”
Second, Mother Teresa followed the example of St. Ignatius of Loyola by making a daily examination of conscience in the presence of the Lord. “Contrary to what people often think about the examen, it’s not simply a laundry list of sins. In fact, St. Ignatius directs people to spend most of their time reflecting not on sins but on the blessings of the day.… It’s really an exercise in recognizing the good things God is doing in our lives and how we are or are not responding to his love.”
By recognizing and measuring your wins, big and small, you can celebrate progress and this positive energy fuels you to keep going. It not only helps you keep going, but you become like Mother Teresa, someone who ‘radiates joy’. As a result, you and those around you can keep moving forward, making progress on the journey to achieving your goals.
And what is the goal? To remain in his love. How do we do that? Keep his commandment. And what is his commandment? To love one another as he loves us.”
While there is a lot of repetition in this week’s Gospel from what we heard last week, there are a couple of new messages in this week and I’d like to reflect on them. The first important message is the “why”!
“I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and your joy might be complete.” John 15:11
Wow! Complete joy! God doesn’t want us to keep his commandment because it is good for him. He tells us this because it is good for us. Actually, it is more than just good for us, but so we may have complete joy!
As I was preparing for this episode, I experienced a little digital miracle.
Last weekend, I was at a seminar and the deacon mentioned Pope Francis’ new exhortation called “Gaudate et Exsultate” which means, “Rejoice and Be Glad.” So I put an appointment in my calendar for Monday that said “Pope Francis rejoice and be glad” to remind myself to look it up.
As often happens, I was in the middle of something else when the calendar reminder popped up on Monday and I didn’t keep the appointment I had set with myself. So, on Tuesday, when I was working on this episode, a text box that said “Pope Francis rejoice and be glad” appeared on my screen. It was not an appointment reminder pop up, it was a text box that was superimposed on my screen. I couldn’t click on it. I couldn’t delete it. If I moved from app to another, it was still there. I couldn’t get rid of it.
So, I Googled “Pope Francis rejoice and be glad”, found the pope’s letter on the Vatican website, and downloaded it. When I did, the text box that I couldn’t get rid of miraculously disappeared. Some people might think that is really weird. I, however, know it was a message from God. Just as I’m reflecting on how Jesus said he wants his joy to be in us and for our joy to be complete, I’m redirected to Pope Francis’ letter that tells us how.
I read the letter, all 39 pages of it, and it is really good. I encourage you to read it too because the pope offers us some very practical ways, to experience the happiness for which we were created. He does so in a way that is meaningful in our own time. He says, the Lord “wants us to be saints and not to settle for a bland and mediocre existence.” Jesus wants our joy to be complete.
Throughout the letter, the Holy Father emphasizes the importance of prayer and the practice of works of mercy. He writes, “We may think that we give glory to God only by our worship and prayer, or simply by following certain ethical norms. It is true that the primacy belongs to our relationship with God, but we cannot forget that the ultimate criterion on which our lives will be judged is what we have done for others. Prayer is most precious, for it nourishes a daily commitment to love. Our worship becomes pleasing to God when we devote ourselves to living generously and allow God’s gift, granted in prayer, to be shown in our concern for our brothers and sisters.”
So, how will you glorify the Lord by your life this week? You get what you focus on, so focus on serving others. What missed opportunities from last week do you want to fix this week? Be aware of those people who God places in your life this week. Will you be a blessing to them? If you are, you’ll find that you will become a much more joyful person and joyful people are much more effective leaders than miserable people.
Joyful people are much more effective leaders than miserable people.I mentioned that there are a couple of new messages in this Sunday’s Gospel. The first is the why – so that we may have his joy in us and that our joy might be complete. The second is our transformation from slaves to friends.
“I no longer call you slaves, because a slave does not know what his master is doing. I have called you friends.” John 15:15
Slaves “have to” serve while friends “choose to” serve.
In my practice, one of the foundational concepts I share with clients as we work on their growth and development is the mental shift from “I have to” to “I choose to.” This is a shift from victim-thinking to creator-thinking. It is a change of perspective that empowers personal responsibility and leads to personal freedom. Jesus wants us to experience this freedom.
Make the mental shift from “I have to” to “I choose to”. This change of perspective empowers personal responsibility that leads to personal freedom.Think about it. Who is powerless? A victim or a slave is powerless. They are subject to someone else. This is an unhappy place to be. No one wants to be in this unhappy place, yet we often allow ourselves to become victims of others by our thoughts. Let me give you an example.
When Sunday night rolls around, you might think “Ugh, I have to go to work tomorrow.” How does this thought make you feel? Now, contrast that to what you feel when you think “I choose to go to work tomorrow.” You may or may not be jumping for joy at the thought, but isn’t it a better feeling to choose to go to work than to have to go to work?
You might be saying to me right now, “Lisa, I have to go to work. I have bills to pay.” And you are right, you do have bills to pay so you choose to go to work. You’ve recognized that it is a better choice to pay your bills than to not pay your bills, so you choose to go to work. You have a choice. You are not a slave.
Let me give you another example. I often hear clients complain about how other people’s behaviors affect them. One client, in particular, has a co-worker who is very abrasive. As a result, my client avoids him, communication breaks down, problems increase, frustration grows, etc. Now, I’m not condoning abrasive behavior, however, my question to my client is “Why do you allow his behavior to affect you? He is who he is, so what can you do about it?” This mental shift is an important first step because my client can’t control the other person’s behavior, but they can control how they allow it to affect them and they can look for solutions given the other person is who he is. (See episode 001 for more on how to deal other’s bad behavior.)
In both examples, the person who makes the mental shift feels better because they are no longer slaves. They also transform from someone who is powerless, not able to do anything to make their situation better, to someone who is empowered to find and implement solutions to their problems. They are no longer stuck, but able to take personal responsibility and take positive steps in a positive direction.
In Rejoice and Be Glad, Pope Francis reminds us, as the Gospel reading emphasizes, that the source of our strength to move forward in a positive direction is God. He writes, “To depend on God sets us free from every form of enslavement and leads us to recognize our great dignity.”
So, what do you choose? Do you choose “to settle for a bland and mediocre existence” or do you choose to experience the happiness for which you were created? Do you choose to remain in Jesus so that his joy may be in you or do you choose a life of slavery to the lies of the evil one?
Jesus said, “It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name he may give you.” John 15:16 Do you choose to accept this gift?
Be vigilant this week and make conscious choices to rely on the strength of God and make a positive difference in the lives of each person you interact with.
Let us ask the Holy Spirit to help us choose wisely so that we may bear fruit that will remain.
May God bless you abundantly with his joy so that you may share it with one another. Amen
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Many thanks to Fr. Stan Fortuna for his musical gifts, especially the traditional and contemporary versions of Come Holy Ghost (Come Holy Spirit) that you hear in this podcast. You can find more from Fr. Stan at http://www.francescoproductions.com/ or on Facebook.
